Merry Glitzmas!

Merry Glitzmas Everyone!

In celebration of Christmas coming around the corner I put together I small collection of Santa Gifts/Stocking Stuffers I would like to have this year for ma maison! Two items are for my kitchen while the other two are for my living room. I realize that to the untrained eye some of these items may look like I live in a cirque show but trust me, it works! 

Life’s A Bitch, But So Am I

This month marked my 6 month anniversary at not only my new job (December 6th to be exact), but also living in Dallas as a Career Girl. That’s right, you heard it! …  living not as a college student but an actual living, breathing, working, bill paying citizen. Thus sparking my inspiration for this post … Life’s A Bitch, But So Am I.

I can hear SasstressMom gasping now about my choice of words but fear not I mean it in the best way possible. If anyone has heard me bitch (there’s that word again!) it’s my mom. Since day 1 back in June she’s heard it all. “Why is rent so expensive!?” “Why the hell does internet NOT come with cable?!” “Why do I have to carry groceries in by MYSELF?!” “WHY ME?!” … “Help me I’m poor!”  I should have gotten the hint months ago when SasstressDad gave me some of his wise words about life not being free … or fair for that matter. However,  as I mentioned before I’ve finally … yes finally, come to the understanding that life’s a bitch and that’s just the way it is.

Anyways, my point being I use the B-word in a sense that I’ve cried, screamed, threw a tantrum on my tiny kitchen floor (Leg kicking and all) and can now  proudly say I’m building a bridge and getting OVER IT! I’ve conquered moving (twice in 6 months),  big girled up and bought a TV, paid (paying) bills and can live to tell the tale. Don’t get me wrong, I still have anxiety about my electric bill every month and I loathe the fact I actually have to choose between good toilet paper or eating for the week but I’m making due.  I’ve learned so far that life is full of choices and when you’re a newbie Career Girl you start to figure out what all of those consist of. *See list below.

Career Girl Choices … Becoming A Grown Up Choices

- New shoes or Haircut (not a style, a HAIRCUT … meaning your hair is nappy and needs help!)
–  Cute Outfit or Dinner with Friends (guess you’ll have to wear that old thing)
-Charmin Toilet Paper or Dinner Ingredients (I still can’t believe toilet paper can be that expensive! … it’s TP, geez)
-Mani/Pedi or a Tank of Gas (not like you have to get to work or anything)

Overall I’d like to think that these last 6 months have given me more than a college degree ever could … The gift of life lessons … all at once. I’m still a little bitter that college, or any part of my schooling for that matter didn’t prepare me for these things. If I could go back i’d petition my university to offer some sort of course in “When Shit Hits the Fan in the Real World 101.” Or how about  ”How to Haggle with Your Cable Company”? I’m a firm believer that if I could have had that sort of training the Post Grad Deer in Headlights Syndrome would have been significantly diminished. Consequently, in honor of several of my friends graduating this weekend I’ve compiled a list of survival tips I wish I would have had.

Get Your Sass Out, Life is Hard 101

- Yes, as ironic as it sounds you have to pay to live … meaning RENT
*It ain’t cheap, I advise doing a lot check and picking somewhere gated/well-lit
*Having an elevator matters  … you’ll have furniture someday and groceries are heavy when you’re the only one carrying them
*It’s not that big of an emergency to move out of your parents house … soak it up … I wish I could sometimes!

- Your electric bill will never be the same each month
*Turn off lights when you aren’t using them! … & you can stand to be a little hotter/colder to save on energy costs

- News flash, cable and internet aren’t just magically there … and they don’t come as a pair
*Haggle with your cable company! If you threaten to leave, or tell them you’re a previous customer you can get loads of discounts … Trust me

- That new outfit you purchased looks real cute … too bad you can’t afford to go out
* Pick and choose the things that are really important … i.e. staying in your apartment alone in your banging new pair of shoes or actually going out and about having fun

-Buying things like TV’s and couches may cause discomfort
*I nearly had a melt down when I purchased both of these items … don’t worry the guilt/being broke for the rest of the month will pass.
*You’ll thank yourself later
*This is also a great opportunity to make friends as you’ll be needing help transporting these items

-  You have bills, she or he doesn’t
* So what … if mommy and daddy still want to pay your friends rent oh well, your parents don’t. Deal with it!

-There will never be enough  money
*If you’re making $30k or $50k it will never be enough, learn to make due and be content
*You can still pay bills, look sassy and still have a fun life … trust me, I’m still living aren’t I?

- There are no more “Christmas or Thanksgiving Breaks”
* This one is still tough but you’ll get the hang of it … besides you won’t have money to gallivant around the country anyway

-Where Are My Friends?
-This one was particularly hard for me as I graduated earlier than most of mine-
*Most of them, believe it or not, are in the same boat as you
*They’re working, job searching to no end or trying to figure shit out
*They’re at Murphy’s celebrating their 5th year victory lap while you’re slaving away … again deal with it!
* The hardest lesson … there is no more fraternity/sorority/house party to bring you all together.  It’s time to woman/man up and make some new friends! You’ll still have your old friends … but this time it’s going to take effort to keep them around.

-Nothing is Permanent
*Take this one to heart people … your first job doesn’t have to be your dream job
*No, you won’t be stuck behind a cubicle forever
*Just because you chose a certain career path doesn’t mean you have to stay with it (who cares what your degree says!)
*If you want to be a gypsy, be a gypsy
*Your career (at the moment) doesn’t define you, or your life … do what makes you happy

In conclusion, Life’s a Bitch … but hey, So Am I.
Look out! 

Happy Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

I’ve always been one to take birthday’s with a positive outlook … meaning I haven’t started to dread them.  Although i’m only in my twenties I look forward to a new year and birthday’s, preferably mine, are my favorite type of holiday! Call me crazy but I think i’ll probably have this mindset my whole life. I know, I know I can hear the sighs and eye rolls from across the board … and someone saying “Just wait till you’re 50!”. Who knows, maybe I will change my mind but i’m just happy to say I survived the rapture of 2011 and hope to live through 2012. 

Cirque Du Sasstress

Since I’ve moved to Dallas I’ve made it a mission to meet new people and try new things.  Not too long ago I ran across the most amazing place … EVER. In a cozy studio nestled not too far behind the Arts District lies CirqueFit, the place where circus dreams are made of. That’s right folks, I’m taking classes to learn how to become an aerialist. For those of you who aren’t sure what an aerialist is they’re the beautiful people who fly around on silks like circus angels.
*See picture below for inspiration.

One day I plan on being able to do the above. Yep … circus superstar coming through! I’ve only had three classes so far but I can honestly say I’ve never had more fun “working out”. Each class I learn something new and am pleasantly surprised that I’m actually able to master some of the positions. Funzies aside, I love how I’m able to get a good stretch in as well as have an intense core workout without chasing a treadmill like a hamster. Overall, I would HIGHLY recommend trying this out.

If training to be a circus star isn’t your thing why not catch a performance? The Dallas Cirque Theatre will be putting on a Christmas performance dubbed Kazoo-La-La to show off their acrobatic skills. This show is sure to spark the interest of all ages as it explores the wonders of Cirque arts through a Christmas story. Debuting Monday, December 5th and Tuesday, December 6th this is a show that Dallas is sure to remember. Tickets are only $25 so be sure to come out and show your support for a great DFW organization!
*Tickets can be purchased here. In the referred by section please put down Sasstress Inc. 

You Know You’re Grown When …

 You know you’re grown when you come back to your parents’ house and your room is empty. Yep. This really happened folks. I came back home last weekend for a family reunion and decided to take a trip down memory lane to my room … or what I thought was my room. Now it’s just an empty space with freshly cleaned carpets. Thankfully the zebra print wallpaper has been left up as a small memento of what used to be way back when. Where is my furniture you ask? Oh don’t worry it’s all stuffed in my closet. That’s right, my life’s possessions (everything that wouldn’t fit into my new CareerGirl apartment) are stuffed into a tiny closet. Awesome feeling to say the least. After scaling Mount Everest (my vanity, Rubbermaid tubs, shelves, etc.) for 30 minutes I was finally able to retrieve my winter clothing that I had left behind. It’s a weird feeling being in your room that really isn’t a room anymore. It’s just a space with cool wallpaper.  I guess that’s what happens though. You move out, get a big girl job with a big girl apartment and inevitably you’re doomed to the life of the guest room. A guest in my own home. I don’t like it! Although I guess I shouldn’t complain … dad keeps threating to make my room his naked room and thankfully that hasn’t happened yet.

You know you’re grown when you can’t afford to eat for 2 weeks because you bought a new pair of Ray Ban sunglasses. This is a recent case from a colleague of mine. Yep. No more groceries from mom and dad. Just bills and a maxed out checking account. After buying a precious pair of Ray Bans she’s been forced to scrounge for food. Literally. It’s been spaghettios and her boyfriend’s leftovers for the last couple of days. A tragic case of being a CareerGirl in the big city is that at some time or other one has to make the decision to eat or purchase those fashionable necessities. The way I see it is that it’s sunny outside and your eyes need to be shielded from the sun’s harmful rays. I’m sure you can find some crackers or someone’s forgotten lunch in the break room refrigerator to tide you over till the next paycheck. Sometimes you just gotta woman up and kick it old school with the ramen.

You Know You’re Grown When:
-You get mad about bank fees
– You spend more time on the phone bitching at your cable company than anything
– You actually have to decide between fancy toilet paper or the cheap shit
-Shoes or food?
-You’ve come to the point where you refuse to get another social profile (Google+ yea right!)
-You’re no longer eligible to use the Post Graduate title anymore … you’re just another person, deal with it

September | The Month The Sass Came Out

Lets take a trip down blog memory lane and recap my previous post about Moving Day! While I mentioned some of the obstacles I was about to face with the move, I totally underestimated what I was about to get myself into. I can honestly say after this move I never want to do it again … ever. Okay, maybe not ever, but you catch my drama queen drift.

-Begin Story-

Way back when (August) I started touring apartments and had found one that would be cozy and comfortable for my dwelling space. I was excited to work with this leasing company as I was a current tenant in another apartment of theirs. After I signed the application and put in my deposit I could not have been more excited to be able to get this move started. Lordy was I wrong! Let me start out by saying that it took my leasing office a MONTH to get my application verified. The lack of time management as well as professionalism I encountered during my application process was astounding. As a current  tenant at the said apartments I had expected to be treated as an individual within the community rather than an illegal crossing the border for lack of a better word.

At one point in time I called the leasing office and asked to be transferred to a specific agent as I had been referred to her by my previous apartment manager. I was not only told I would not be able to speak with her as I had already met with another agent, but also given a speech that it is against the leasing center’s policy to let future residents talk to other agents that they had not previously met with. I was calling to simply ask her a question, NOT switch agents. I wonder if it was also their policy to make residents/non-residents feel awkward and extremely uncomfortable as well?

-It gets better-

Later on that week I received a frantic phone call from my new leasing agent asking me if I had checked my mail and if not to hurriedly disregard the said e-mail. I thought this was odd and checked my mail while on the phone with her to find that she had sent my welcome letter. Her frantic call was to inform me that she jumped the gun and failed to properly review my application thus taking back the approval. Not only was this extremely unprofessional but also reflected poorly on her duties as a leasing agent.

Since that initial shit show of a phone call I had to jump through hoops to get the application taken care of as my transfer agreement stated that I would be out of current property and into the new one 4 days from the above conversation. I had to PERSONALLY ask my director as well as my previous employers more than 3 times to send in employment verificationsbecause their credit check company failed to return my company’s calls. I was told that since the apartment couldn’t get a hold of anyone (after 1 phone call no less) that ” the ball was in my court.” If that’s the case then I should have been on their pay roll for all the work I had to put in to get the application in order.

Awesome right?

Begin moving day. Oh, the blessed moving day! After literally ripping the leasing manager apart not once, but twice I finally signed my lease and got some money knocked off my rent. That Saturday my roommate and I drove to the new apartment to grab our keys and start moving our life in. Sounds simple right? NOT! Of course not … why would anything go smoothly with this move? I was told that I did not have the necessary paperwork and therefore could not pick up my keys. I was on the phone with my insurance hotline for 2 and a half hours to get this so called paperwork that was never mentioned to me. 2 hours. Wow.

Fast forward through the heavy lifting and moving of furniture. I noticed that the carpets were not cleaned as they should have been and the stove, nor the dishwasher didn’t work. Que another ass ripping phone call to my leasing center. They promptly tell me that the carpets were in fact cleaned but they will send someone over to have a look. After a sassy conversation and a few glares later they give in to clean the carpets. Not only that, they had to replace the dishwasher and all the wood floors as the leak had ruined them.

Overall I think it’s safe to say that my leasing center is living in fear of me. As they should … and continue to live in that fear until I move out. I’ve compiled a list of things that have since been done the apartment since I moved in.

1.) Carpets Cleaned
– 3 times
2.) Wood Floors Replaced
3.) Dishwasher replaced
4.) Stove fixed
5.) Leasing Office Kisses My Pretty Sass 

Moral of the story: Sassy Gets Shit Done.

LIVE IT!

Happy September!

We’ve finally made it to September everyone! Hello Fall … well sorda. Although temperatures  are still in the triple digits outside i’ve decided to compile a few of my Fall favs to summon the cooler weather. What is your must have for fall fashion?